Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
drinking out of a sandbucket again
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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