Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
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