Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
