i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
