Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
