I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
These tits shall not be calmed
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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