Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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