i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
