ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
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