Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
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