I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
