I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
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