So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
