honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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