Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Randomize
