I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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