I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
