if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
i believe in u and ur pee
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Randomize
