State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
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