her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize