Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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