your thong is hanging out like whoa
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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