Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
