are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
