so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
