I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Randomize
