the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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