My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
