you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Is it because I queefed?
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Randomize
