We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
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