I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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