i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
