it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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