Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
