Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Randomize
