their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
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