It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Randomize
