It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize