It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
