it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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