everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
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