I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Randomize
