How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
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