ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
