I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
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