i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Randomize
