just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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