We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
