Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
