Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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