NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Randomize
