She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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