used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
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