i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
