She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Randomize
