they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
