Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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