How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
