there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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