I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize