so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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