fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Randomize
