I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
