It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
