if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
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