you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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