i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
